Goodbye, 2009. Welcome 2010

Dear 2009,

I will be one of the billions of thankful people you've been nice to in the past 365 days. Thank you for all the time you gave me to be productive and improve myself. The people I met and the relationships that has been well kept. The many wonderful opportunities you thought I deserved that made me recognize my capabilities. That recent vacation to see old friends and families. I want you to know that the only thing I regret about this year were those times I whined and complained about where I was and where my decisions brought me, because all of it turned out to be blessings that taught me valuable lessons about life. For damages I caused, to people's feelings or properties, I ask for forgiveness. I never wanted to hurt anyone but my selfishness gets the best of me sometimes, but trust me, I am always trying to avoid that.

Again, thank you.

Dear 2010,

Whether it is disappointments or surprises that you have in store for me, I pray that they only make me stronger or I learn something from them. I hope I will be able to handle the disappointments and not let the surprises overwhelm too much that I change into an obnoxious person. Help me plan out my future just like how a mature adult would do it, but not to the point that I forget to enjoy my youth and regret it later. I think that's my goal, not to have regrets by the end of this year. With regrets, I have to blame something or somebody when in reality I have the power to fix what is broken or just accept things as they are. This turns into bitterness then unhappiness. And I want to be happy.

Thank you for another 365 days to find ways to real happiness. I'm ready.

Oh this is SO mushy..

Dear God,

For a change, for Christmas I am not going to ask anything from you. There is nothing left to ask for because you already gave me everything I could ever want. I am so grateful because you even gave me things that I never thought I would want or will ever deserve. Forget about me, it is your wish that needs to come true this time.

Advance happy birthday... or if this Christmas is just human fiction, I hope we make you feel as if it's your birthday. Again, thanks!

Racquel

Wordless Wednesday #2

Wordless Wednesday #1

Starting today, every wednesday will be Wordless Wednesday! It is supposed to be wordless but this entry is an exception since I do need to explain what's going on here before I get confuse myself on my next visit!! Haha! Enjoy!

I M U

Give me a word to start writing with to get rid of this junk in my heart. They say writing is a release, however I have been writing about this for almost three years now. Relief is still out of sight. 

After that bad heartache, I promised myself I won't let myself turn into someone like you. I said NO to every opportunity to play games with and be inconsiderate of other people's hearts. Thanks to you, I improved myself a lot and is now wielding that power to make people fall, too. I don't blame you, all these attention are really enjoyable. I think all of it I showered you before are coming back in hundred folds. These feet must stay on the ground, though. I really don't want to be like you. I don't want anybody to hurt the same way I did.

The more attention I get, the more I understand you. I often catch myself now justifying your previous actions. Maybe it is really OK to take it easy if we're still young. Youth, anyway, is short-lived and excusable. Making promises you are not sure you can fulfill is part of improving one's decision-making skills. You might not be able to, the important thing is, you already know what the consequences will be. Like, a person won't be able to trust you again.

Maybe you're all grown up now, making good decisions. You've always been capable of that, it is just so hard to resist all the attention. I have forgiven you a long time ago, but I am still bleeding, I just want you to know.

I think I am about to break a promise to myself.