If Only...

If only you were here, I know you won't be doing the same thing everybody else is doing. You are not going to spend your time and money on alcohol or renting a hotel to get laid by a guy you met in AIT or a bar. Our plans will include going to the museum, a park, or a movie to have clean fun and engage ourselves in conversations about religion, politics, the gift of present and the surprises of the future. At times we will talk about other people, too, to analyze their attitudes and personalities, as well as point out their weaknesses and strengths. However, by the end of the day, we agree that they should not be judged but instead, be understood and accepted. But then again, we will voice out our reasons why we should just ignore them and don't give a damn. After having the exchange of thoughts, we will secretly admire each other for being such good, decent people.

If only you were here, I know you will be one of the best. And you would think the same way about me. That's why I am so disappointed with myself right now, I am only average and I struggled a lot to stay in the game. But I promise, since I couldn't excel academically, I tried hard to make myself stronger physically. I run faster now than I ever did in my entire life. I did 52 push ups and 72 push ups in my final PT test and I dedicate my achievement to all things and persons that inspire me. My list is short and your name sits on top of it.

If you still don't know yet, I love you and I feel like I reached the summit of a high mountain everytime you tell me you love me too. It just feels so great, so wonderful.

I miss you. I miss us.