I M U

Give me a word to start writing with to get rid of this junk in my heart. They say writing is a release, however I have been writing about this for almost three years now. Relief is still out of sight. 

After that bad heartache, I promised myself I won't let myself turn into someone like you. I said NO to every opportunity to play games with and be inconsiderate of other people's hearts. Thanks to you, I improved myself a lot and is now wielding that power to make people fall, too. I don't blame you, all these attention are really enjoyable. I think all of it I showered you before are coming back in hundred folds. These feet must stay on the ground, though. I really don't want to be like you. I don't want anybody to hurt the same way I did.

The more attention I get, the more I understand you. I often catch myself now justifying your previous actions. Maybe it is really OK to take it easy if we're still young. Youth, anyway, is short-lived and excusable. Making promises you are not sure you can fulfill is part of improving one's decision-making skills. You might not be able to, the important thing is, you already know what the consequences will be. Like, a person won't be able to trust you again.

Maybe you're all grown up now, making good decisions. You've always been capable of that, it is just so hard to resist all the attention. I have forgiven you a long time ago, but I am still bleeding, I just want you to know.

I think I am about to break a promise to myself.