They Deserve This...

This is sad. I think I still can't make up my mind about some things even if I am suffering... even if other people around me are also suffering. As usual, I'm trying to be vague as much as possible, just to conceal things that nobody really need to know.

You say you can see through me. you claimed you care. but like the other people who came, you are bound to leave. so don't blame me if I do things that could hurt you. I'd rather hurt you to make you leave earlier than you intend to stay because it will lessen the misery you are about to leave behind.

There you are, waving your hand at me. A signal I can't understand. I guess all your likes pose that kind of signals because you are uncertain yet you can't resist the thought of a new lover promising a new way of showing affection. Reality check... maybe you are just bored. I hate people who use other people as a form of scapegoat from boredom.

And you... yeah, you young debonaire. I hate your guts. I hate players. I hate you. But... too bad, you'll never get to know it. I'm usually not good in acting, but if it's your show, I'll give you one hell of a performer. You're my idol, I learned so much from you. Thanks for teaching me how to play the role of a perfect deceiver. You are fake. I will be fake. Why try truth? People around us seem to buy more of the lies rather than truth. We are young, right? WE don't need truth. Maybe not this time.

You, my reader, think twice before you act. I'm damaged, that's why I'm saying these things. This is my way of killing anger. Please don't try my style. I have not been successful in this.