U-TURN

Euphoric, that's how it feels when I do it with you. My brain doesn't instruct my body to respond, it just automatically moves in rhythm, like there's music and only my soul can hear it. With you, that part of my brain that rationalizes stop functioning. Suddenly I am not afraid of consequences because there is none if it doesn't feel wrong. It is supposed to feel this way - it must be right if it feels right.

After our sweet encounters, there are no regrets or guilt to deal with, only excitement for the possibility of another rendezvous taking place. With the other, it feels like a duty - it is only enjoyable because I am fulfilling my job. Pretensions - they never fail to leave a bad taste in my mouth. Ours could be another kind of mistake, but it tastes like sugar and the sweetness lingers until the other rubs it off again. Once I'm done with the other I end up feeling empty, and sorry for myself because I can't stomach the normal and natural, while in my head with you the oddness is a gift. Questions pile up, questions that when I try to answer only point me in one direction... to where you are.

Sometimes, running in a one way street is pointless if the road leads you to a place where you never intended to go. I'm making a U-TURN.