no. no. no.

did you hear my voice
trying so hard to please
to sing a song you've never heard of
although composed only for you to hear?

did you you at least tried to listen
when I finally decided to open up and speak
of the emotions I find so hard to put into words
after all those years?

NO.

did you see the litle things I've offered freely to give
that you chose to take for granted,
because they are just of mediocre value
something that pales in comparison with what you get before?

did you even bother to look down
to find out if I'm still there,
the abandoned faithful servant
who had brought you to a place of higher ground?

NO.

While I am allowing time to eat away my patience in waiting,
you were putting our memories inside the box labeled "oblivion".

You were cooking up my defeat while I was trying to preserve
a noble feeling, felt especially because of you.

You were erasing me from your memory
while I was engraving you deeper in mine.

You were locking yourself up
while I was almost lost in my quest of finding the key to your heart.

You were regarding yourself as nothing when an obstacle had tripped you,
you're to ashamed to go on, while I am still here,
regarding you as my very purpose of living.

You never needed me. I always did right from the start.

Now I that I'm broken...
did you hear it shatter?
my heart, my soul, my life...
Can you find every little pieces?
Have you got the time to put them back together?

still NO?

I have been part of your nightmare,
wake me up once YES is already the answer.

maong na kupas...

i've fallen out of love, because I've forced myself to.

I've always regarded my feelings for that person as something great and noble, something I could still be proud of even if most of the times, it only brings heartaches and immeasurable amount of misery to my life. A kind of longing which can be considered as unbearable but I've managed to carry out... for 5 long lonely years. It was hard and I know that if choose to hold on, I can only expect to be harder in time. Oh well, life indeed is like a box of chocolate... chocnut, anybody?

Anyweiz, let's switch from the senti mood to something feel good. As I've mentioned in my few last entries, I've been having this "crisis" - no phone, no elecric power supply, no money, no lovelife (sanay nako dito.. hehehe). These dilemmas are not helping me in any way, maybe others can call them obstacles made to make one stronger and resourceful, but heck, I think almost twenty years of living the life of racquelbalao-as is enough to make (pick one of my college classmate) to go insane! I'm just hoping that I can still fix these probs that are so definitely ruining everything I've planned to do and planning to do. But y'know I think I've been given those probs because my dude up there knows my abilities and capabilities that I can utilize to overcome these problemos. I believe He had equipped my with the things I need - the right kind of attitude and all those people who are willing to help me get through the rough times. Thanks, to those who think and believe they deserve thanks.

another stolen bottle...

I've stolen another bottle from ate vanna's hundred bottles collection... why can't I write something like this?!? anyweiz... read on.. boring stories on next entry:

The Way of the Leaf

To wait
To fall
To die

but i too could change my colors
to hues so bright
that you just would not see
until i am no more
then you miss me
for from the branch now bare
i am gone from your tree

so you looked on the ground
hoping to keep me
but with a thousand others fallen
you could not be sure

Close your eyes.

Forget me not
in your hearts memory

Sometimes,

i could be
more beautiful
than a million flowers.

ang feeling ba?!

dude i don't know what's your prob.. you don't need to compare, really, coz i know the final choice will always be the same.. siya lang talaga.. kahit gaano katino pa ang pinakita mo dati o kahit gaano ka pa magbago.. wala rin akong pakialam kung mas maganda ka.. si ano pa rin ang nasa puso ko.. wag ka na umasa..kung magugustuhan man kita,yun ay dahil lang sa aking perv side.. hehehe.. jowwk!!

STICKwitU

I thought Pussycat Dolls existed to produce songs like "Don't Cha"... damn the prejudice in me because their second really got me craving because they've done an unpredictable!! Here's stickWITu..:

I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
Seems like everybody's breaking up
And throwing their love away
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)

Nobody gonna love me better
I must stick with you
Forever
Nobody gonna take me higher
I must stick with you
You know how to 'preciate me
I must stick with you
My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I must stick with you

I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride
In our private lives
Ain't nobody getting in between
I want you to know that you're the only one for me
And I say

Nobody gonna love me better
I must stick with you
Forever
Nobody gonna take me higher
I must stick with you
You know how to 'preciate me
I must stick with you
My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I must stick with you

And now
Ain't nothing else I could need
And now
I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me
I got you
We'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you
Baby, you're with me

So don't you worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you and you know me
And that's all that counts
So don't you worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you and you know me
And that's why I say

Nobody gonna love me better
I must stick with you
Forever
Nobody gonna take me higher
I must stick with you
You know how to 'preciate me
I must stick with you
My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I must stick with you

Nobody gonna love me better
I must stick with you
Forever
Nobody gonna take me higher
I must stick with you
You know how to 'preciate me
I'm must stick with you
My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I must stick with you

first day all over again...

hell, i can't transfer the photos that have been captured by the digicam during the sembreak days! I was elated pa naman when the the school e-lib administrator allowed me to plug in the USB drive on the PC.. tsk. well anyweiz, I think there's something wrong with the cable.. coz the system can't seem to detect the presence of a removable drive.

how's the first week of the 2nd sem? feels like a copycat of the the first sem... we're here again to deal with the old and new profs, impress them as much as we could and in the latter part, expect the fruits of our hardship or laziness. It's probably the fruits of laziness that I'll be harvesting.. haha. I've written potential blog entries while at home every night, because there was nothing left to do but read and write when you don't have power supply and the telephone line has been cut out. With limiting conditions like these, how much work can I actually finish? look, there's my productivity level... declining.

I need to strengthen my patience.. or else, I could go crazy.