a new game plan in life.

= stop the torture =

last night sucks... I just realized the distinction between self-mutilation and sacrifice (in the context of love). in self-mutilation, it hurts because it was ur fault - and the pain serves no grand purpose or whatsoever. sacrifice, on the other hand, is about giving yourself and the other people both a favor. In sacrifice, when u cry, the tears resulted from joy and the thought that you've done an unselfish act. In self mutilation, hell, no matter how loud and how long you scream because a part of you is bleeding, you'll never find answer to your pathetic question, "I just loved.. why does it have to hurt this much?!". Self-mutilation is pointless giving while sacrifice, at the verge of being redundant, is generosity that could leave you empty but full.

I think distinguishing one from the other is an easy job. I've found the difficulty in determining whether what I'm doing is sacrifice or just merely self-mutilation. Oh well... shit happens, right? But if shit happens more often than expected, then maybe all I need is a new game plan.

= the plan =

what if I try to change...? that would be a good idea because I'm pretty much bored with who I am right now. The question is, what kind of change? I'll find out the answer myself, maybe in the next few months, although I'm planning to do it ASAP. If I receive negative feedbacks, I'll listen, but I won't care if I don't have to.

haha... the game plan of the weaklings. Am I becoming one or was I a weakling all along?

= muntik na =

hindi naman ako mukhang mayaman ah.. bakit ako muntik na madukutan kanina?! buti na lang hindi ako naglalagay ng money dun sa nabuksan na part ng bag! haha! but I just got to thank that magnanakaw because he managed to pull out my I.D and it fell on the floor without me noticing it. He approached me to give it back. Crazy guy, he just allowed me to take a good look at his face. Stupid. He thought I didn't feel it when he opened the zipper of my bag. He still had the guts to approach me... maybe the reason why he ended up a snatcher is because he was hands down too stupid.