getting mushy again...

** Sometimes life can be a burden
Tryna stay one step ahead
I feel the world upon my shoulder each time
I'm standing out on the edge
And my hopes have all deserted me
Like they washed away in the sand
And it's hurting my pride
Tryna survive
But i know i stand a chance

Too much drama in my life right now. I used to laugh at them back then, thinking that being in too complicated situations are phases in our lives that we just need to get through, and after that, we'll emerge always stronger than before. Now, I still laugh at them but because of a different reason - I can't do anything anymore but laugh. Do my problems have already gotten inside my head and I've already gone crazy? I don't think so. I laugh because I know that worrying won't help me get through the rough times. Laughing could help. The problem is, what if there's no more reason to laugh? What if the reasons not to lose sanity are nowhere to be found, unavailable at the exact moments you badly need them? I've been there and it's not good being there. It's like being in a place where everybody seemed familiar but none of them actually knew you. I'm not trying to sound pessimistic but we've got to admit, only a few in this world knows how to really care or give love unconditionally. You can't even expect people to be kind. This just means that laughing is a cheap source of stress reliever but the store where you could get it from had limited stocks. If you are still capable of laughing, that means you know there's still hope.

Whoever and whatever you are, I know you've hoped or currently hoping for something. You can't deny the fact that you've wished or prayed and waited for something to arrive in your life to have. I realized that it is hope that keeps our sanity alive. People who went crazy deprived themselves with hope or maybe, somebody deprived him of it. You never have to ran out of hope because it is true that the best things in life are free and hope is one of them. You jcan acquire hope in many ways, one of which is strengthening your faith in God. But yeah, some people chose not to believe in Him so I better give the other means. Learning to love people can give you hope because when they show their appreciation to what you can give, it could inspire you and it gives you hope. This means that the more people you love, the better chance of not losing hope.

** When you lay your hands
Oh yeah
'coz it's the only thing I have that still makes sense

(Oh baby, when I'm calling out)
Give me love and affection,
Keep telling me, show me the way.
(Oh, if you see me falling down)
Lift me up from the shadows
Will you take me away to a better place?
(And when I'm in my darkest hour)
You're by my side, to turn the tide,
Until the suffering fades.
When life is getting me down,
getting me down, i'm close to defeat,
Come and lay ur hands on me.

That's the very reason why I consider myself strong. I have my source of hope, because I truly and unconditionally love some people... genuine people, people who really matter. One of them is *tooot* (hehe, still can't spill it, sorry) who is the reason I give my best in everything I do. The reason I fight and will fight til the last drop of my blood. With that person, I know I can reach the top without getting off my feet on the ground. I am a better person now because of *toooot*... I keep on getting better. I can laugh at even the most miserable problem there is, as long as I can feel that *tooot*'s just there, believing that I can do even the impossible. With *tooot*, there is no defeat, only another reason to rise again and give it another try.

You inspire me make my dreams come true because you are part of it. I love you so much. thank you for coming into my life and I HOPE you'll stay.

** [ lay your hands by simon webbe ]