Ate vanna seem to experience being in situations like mine... hmm.. hehe! Anyway, she wrote this poem that I can really relate to. Haay.. my blog is somehow already hidden because I already changed the subdomain but y'know, I'm still playing it safe... still not dropping names and telling stories indirectly. Call me chicken.. hehe!
Patorpehan Contest
it is easier to walk away
keeping secret
the way we feel...
charging everything to youth,
fooling ourselves
hoping we'll outgrow loving each other.
we try and try to part ways
but we always end up
meeting face to face,
somehow
its a shame
why we couldn't muster
the courage
to say the words
we both already know.
The Top Ten Must Go ON!
The Top Ten Must Go On
No. 8 – Christian Dave Dalisay
I put Dave on the number 8 spot not because there's something great to admire in him. He's not extraordinary, not the intellectual type and not even good-looking. But every time I'm with him, I'm just me – no any kind of pretense at all. This does not imply that I'm fake if I'm with everybody else, it's just that I don't feel the fear of being evaluated when I'm with Dave because in his eyes, I'm just his friend. He was never disappointed in me whenever I failed to keep up to that intellectual standard everybody else had already established for me. He doesn't require me to always do and say the right things and even appreciates me more when I display actions that the whole world disapproves of. Dave knows my secrets and I'm confident and rest-assured that he has no interest in spilling the beans. I'm comfortable of letting him know my thoughts, even the most ridiculous ones. Right now, he's my best guy buddy! I really appreciate him being around and without him, college life wouldn't be as enjoyable (and liberating? Hehe) as it is right now. Thanks Dave! I lalves you! Hahaha!
No. 8 – Christian Dave Dalisay
I put Dave on the number 8 spot not because there's something great to admire in him. He's not extraordinary, not the intellectual type and not even good-looking. But every time I'm with him, I'm just me – no any kind of pretense at all. This does not imply that I'm fake if I'm with everybody else, it's just that I don't feel the fear of being evaluated when I'm with Dave because in his eyes, I'm just his friend. He was never disappointed in me whenever I failed to keep up to that intellectual standard everybody else had already established for me. He doesn't require me to always do and say the right things and even appreciates me more when I display actions that the whole world disapproves of. Dave knows my secrets and I'm confident and rest-assured that he has no interest in spilling the beans. I'm comfortable of letting him know my thoughts, even the most ridiculous ones. Right now, he's my best guy buddy! I really appreciate him being around and without him, college life wouldn't be as enjoyable (and liberating? Hehe) as it is right now. Thanks Dave! I lalves you! Hahaha!
Sentences End With A Period
Never did I see myself as someone who's perfect. Like any other human, I got my own flaws. I believe even Mother Teresa had her own flaws. We all made mistakes. What makes one greater than the other is the manner of how he managed to transform his weaknesses to become strengths. Perfection is a relative term. Some may see perfection in symmetrical order of things; some may find perfection in a disheveled set-up of things. Well, somebody told me recently that I'm too much of an air-head because she thought I see myself as a perfect person. I was hurt because I thought I didn't need to explain myself to a friend. Maybe she felt the same way when I tried to tell her that her attitude is getting in my nerves. I thought I was just being honest. She thought I was trying to pull her down by pointing out her mistakes. We're both trying to prove our points to each other while no one is really interested in listening to each other's sentiments.
I will not reveal her name here, to save her from my reader's prejudice. This will be just like an open letter to somebody so she will be referred to as "You".
We thought we knew each other that well. We thought that we've known each other long enough to understand each other's flaws. Much to my dismay, we were wrong and it's sad that we have to learn this the hard way. Life disproved the supposition we held in our hearts for too long because you have to admit, we never really loved each other.
You confused me. When I was still angry at you, I really believed in my heart that you had the intention of hurting me because I regard you as someone special. While you were saying that I'm likewise special to you, you are also telling me about some other person that you love. My mind couldn't absorb what was happening; you left me in a state of confusion. There are so many special people in your life and I couldn't accept the fact that I'm just another face in a crowd. The anger wasn't just directed towards you because I was also angry at myself, for not being good enough and for not having enough. You wanted more from me and I just grew tired of trying to prove myself to you.
Then we started to point fingers. You said I gave up on being the same understanding person I used to be. You were trying to imply that I'm selfish whenever I get jealous because jealousy is a sign of conditional love. You want me to be just happy for you every time you tell me you are falling for the other person because it's the sign of true love. But hey, am I the only one required to show care and compassion? The way I see it, you're being inconsiderate of my feelings. It seems like you don't have any real respect for me. When I try to confront you about it, you left me with messages like "I'm not as perfect as you are, don't talk to me". While I was holding back words so as not to hurt your feelings, you say things that have caused my heart to bleed but never did I hear you say sorry. That's how it ended - an exchange of ugly words that we won't have anymore chance to take back to set things right.
My fault? I became too sensitive, the kind of close kin to paranoia. I lost my trust in you. We both have faults that broke our friendship. I'm sorry. I never perceived myself as a perfect person. Actually, I only get to appreciate the person I am when people around me chose to put up with whatever attitude I have. When you made that remark, it sounded more of an insult. Forgive and forget, shall we?
I will not reveal her name here, to save her from my reader's prejudice. This will be just like an open letter to somebody so she will be referred to as "You".
We thought we knew each other that well. We thought that we've known each other long enough to understand each other's flaws. Much to my dismay, we were wrong and it's sad that we have to learn this the hard way. Life disproved the supposition we held in our hearts for too long because you have to admit, we never really loved each other.
You confused me. When I was still angry at you, I really believed in my heart that you had the intention of hurting me because I regard you as someone special. While you were saying that I'm likewise special to you, you are also telling me about some other person that you love. My mind couldn't absorb what was happening; you left me in a state of confusion. There are so many special people in your life and I couldn't accept the fact that I'm just another face in a crowd. The anger wasn't just directed towards you because I was also angry at myself, for not being good enough and for not having enough. You wanted more from me and I just grew tired of trying to prove myself to you.
Then we started to point fingers. You said I gave up on being the same understanding person I used to be. You were trying to imply that I'm selfish whenever I get jealous because jealousy is a sign of conditional love. You want me to be just happy for you every time you tell me you are falling for the other person because it's the sign of true love. But hey, am I the only one required to show care and compassion? The way I see it, you're being inconsiderate of my feelings. It seems like you don't have any real respect for me. When I try to confront you about it, you left me with messages like "I'm not as perfect as you are, don't talk to me". While I was holding back words so as not to hurt your feelings, you say things that have caused my heart to bleed but never did I hear you say sorry. That's how it ended - an exchange of ugly words that we won't have anymore chance to take back to set things right.
My fault? I became too sensitive, the kind of close kin to paranoia. I lost my trust in you. We both have faults that broke our friendship. I'm sorry. I never perceived myself as a perfect person. Actually, I only get to appreciate the person I am when people around me chose to put up with whatever attitude I have. When you made that remark, it sounded more of an insult. Forgive and forget, shall we?
Losing My First Love
Writing for me back then was just a past-time, an optional thing that I will only do if boredom strikes at any time. I wasn't concerned about my grammar or spelling or choice of words at that time, it really didn't matter to me if they scorn the manner I presented my thoughts. For me, the important thing is to be able to express what I believe in and what I feel. Writing gives me freedom. I feel free whenever I have successfully put into writing my ideas. Writing was the outlet of my emotions - it was the reason I could breathe again when a situation or a person had upset me. When I was still in our humble house in Makati, I even remembered saying to myself that if there were things in life that I couldn't live without, two of them would be pen and paper. That's how deep my love for writing is... well, make that was.
I know I've managed to impress people with my writing skills. Friends, classmates, teachers and even those who are already considered "professionals" in the realm of writing. I was surprised. Even if I've been a school newspaper writer in elementary and high school years, I believe I got the chance to be a staffer only because of the fact that school population was small during those years. Furthermore, I wrote only in Filipino language, not in English. Making it to the Advocate is just plain good luck, I guess. Even my brother pointed out to me that I don't have a writing style so no matter how wonderful my ideas are, they won't catch attention. I believed him but I didn't care. So what if I'm not that good, I thought. As long as I have the enthusiasm to put into writing my thoughts and ideas, who cares about writing style? So whenever I hear praises regarding my poems, short stories and essays, I feel really humbled by such show of appreciation to my work because I really think they weren't that great. I felt overrated. Anyhow, I still continued doing what I love and somehow, I've managed to score awards and acknowledgements for it. I feel blessed.
Good writer - a title I have earned that I didn't want to slip out of my hands. As my reputation of being a good writer ballooned, the expectations of the people around me also got bigger. I fooled myself into believing that it was easy to keep up with the expectations. The reputation gave me confidence, too much of it actually that I've become arrogant. It manifested not through my actions though, but through my writings. The need to impress people with my writing skills developed in my character. I've used words that I knew only people with high levels of intellect would understand. I tried to make the wordings complicated, tried to perfect the grammar and tried to put style in my writing. I even resorted to copying other people's ideas and rephrasing them so as to make them appear as if they were my own. During those times, I considered my ideas mediocre compared to the articles I’ve read. I got frustrated, I felt unreasonably insecure. In my quest of improving the old writer in me, I made the mistake of almost getting rid of him. There were no improvements, only unneeded alterations. The output didn't win the approval of the people. My what was then a unique way of writing had become too ordinary, forgettable. It didn't manage to stand-out.
Since then, I avoided writing. I felt like my favorite hobby had been dressed up with over-alls and now it looks like work to me. Writing used to be just a stress-reliever, my scapegoat to the haunting claws of boredom. Now, writing is part of the stress and has become more haunting than boredom. The humble, enthusiastic writer who didn't care about grammar, style and impressing people was lost in oblivion. What was left is a person struggling to win back the respect she owed to herself.
It is true that a good writer is someone who is good in grammar, has a writing style and a wide range of vocabulary and knows how to win the hearts of his readers. But for me, a good writer is someone who doesn't prioritize such requirements because it is like drawing up boundaries to one's self. I've mentioned before that writing gives me freedom. I totally lost that freedom when I chose to keep up with the expectations they set up on me. I lost it the moment I felt the need to impress people. I realized that a writer is good when he has good attitudes and uses them to improve the world through his writings. A good writer never considers his ideas mediocre nor great, he lets the reader be the judge of that. He wouldn't change views just to please his audience. He would, however, be gentle and considerate while being fierce and aggressive at the same time. There's no clear-cut definition of a good writer. A writer defines for himself and by himself the real meaning of it.
I need to go back to my old self again where being able to express my thoughts and ideas my way alone gives me unparalleled contentment. I want to be able to enjoy writing again. My feet are now on the ground, and hopefully this time, I'll be a good writer by following only the set of rules laid down by my heart.
I know I've managed to impress people with my writing skills. Friends, classmates, teachers and even those who are already considered "professionals" in the realm of writing. I was surprised. Even if I've been a school newspaper writer in elementary and high school years, I believe I got the chance to be a staffer only because of the fact that school population was small during those years. Furthermore, I wrote only in Filipino language, not in English. Making it to the Advocate is just plain good luck, I guess. Even my brother pointed out to me that I don't have a writing style so no matter how wonderful my ideas are, they won't catch attention. I believed him but I didn't care. So what if I'm not that good, I thought. As long as I have the enthusiasm to put into writing my thoughts and ideas, who cares about writing style? So whenever I hear praises regarding my poems, short stories and essays, I feel really humbled by such show of appreciation to my work because I really think they weren't that great. I felt overrated. Anyhow, I still continued doing what I love and somehow, I've managed to score awards and acknowledgements for it. I feel blessed.
Good writer - a title I have earned that I didn't want to slip out of my hands. As my reputation of being a good writer ballooned, the expectations of the people around me also got bigger. I fooled myself into believing that it was easy to keep up with the expectations. The reputation gave me confidence, too much of it actually that I've become arrogant. It manifested not through my actions though, but through my writings. The need to impress people with my writing skills developed in my character. I've used words that I knew only people with high levels of intellect would understand. I tried to make the wordings complicated, tried to perfect the grammar and tried to put style in my writing. I even resorted to copying other people's ideas and rephrasing them so as to make them appear as if they were my own. During those times, I considered my ideas mediocre compared to the articles I’ve read. I got frustrated, I felt unreasonably insecure. In my quest of improving the old writer in me, I made the mistake of almost getting rid of him. There were no improvements, only unneeded alterations. The output didn't win the approval of the people. My what was then a unique way of writing had become too ordinary, forgettable. It didn't manage to stand-out.
Since then, I avoided writing. I felt like my favorite hobby had been dressed up with over-alls and now it looks like work to me. Writing used to be just a stress-reliever, my scapegoat to the haunting claws of boredom. Now, writing is part of the stress and has become more haunting than boredom. The humble, enthusiastic writer who didn't care about grammar, style and impressing people was lost in oblivion. What was left is a person struggling to win back the respect she owed to herself.
It is true that a good writer is someone who is good in grammar, has a writing style and a wide range of vocabulary and knows how to win the hearts of his readers. But for me, a good writer is someone who doesn't prioritize such requirements because it is like drawing up boundaries to one's self. I've mentioned before that writing gives me freedom. I totally lost that freedom when I chose to keep up with the expectations they set up on me. I lost it the moment I felt the need to impress people. I realized that a writer is good when he has good attitudes and uses them to improve the world through his writings. A good writer never considers his ideas mediocre nor great, he lets the reader be the judge of that. He wouldn't change views just to please his audience. He would, however, be gentle and considerate while being fierce and aggressive at the same time. There's no clear-cut definition of a good writer. A writer defines for himself and by himself the real meaning of it.
I need to go back to my old self again where being able to express my thoughts and ideas my way alone gives me unparalleled contentment. I want to be able to enjoy writing again. My feet are now on the ground, and hopefully this time, I'll be a good writer by following only the set of rules laid down by my heart.
I Feel So Blessed
The previous blog post was written sometime between 3 PM and 4PM. I did not bother to look at my mobile phone during that time to check out if I received any message. I wanted to maximize the 1 hour worth of rental I bought in Webtour. When I got off my seat, I finally decided to take a quick glance at the LCD of my 3310. 1 message received. I think I didn't hear the guy at the cashier clearly when he told me how much I owe him. My focus was transfixed on the words that made up the message I received.
Congratulations, uve passed the advo exam...
That was it! It just came late! I passed the exam. The text message instructed the passers to come at their office with a resume on one hand and witty answers on the other. I have no problem with those two things they required us to bring, but I don't think I have the smart casual attire that they also asked of us to wear. Oh well, I'll just ask help from mom.
Interview day.
The interview started at 9:30 and my name was called at 10:00. I believe I was there at the advo office for only 10-15 minutes. I actually enjoyed the interview process and was even disappointed when I realized it wasn't like those nerve-wrecking job interviews I went through before because the advo exam was just full of fun. I surely learned a lot of things. I even met people with bright minds.
The interview ended at 5:00 PM already. We've all waited outside for quite a long time. However, the result is worth waiting for because they had put me in the section where I thought will be the most impossible place for my feet to land on - the News section.
Dave, Mark and I decided to watch Da Vinci Code on the very same day. We had the chance watch the controversial movie on the opening day so I went home feeling very lucky that day. Thanks Kuya Mark for the movie treat!
Congratulations, uve passed the advo exam...
That was it! It just came late! I passed the exam. The text message instructed the passers to come at their office with a resume on one hand and witty answers on the other. I have no problem with those two things they required us to bring, but I don't think I have the smart casual attire that they also asked of us to wear. Oh well, I'll just ask help from mom.
Interview day.
The interview started at 9:30 and my name was called at 10:00. I believe I was there at the advo office for only 10-15 minutes. I actually enjoyed the interview process and was even disappointed when I realized it wasn't like those nerve-wrecking job interviews I went through before because the advo exam was just full of fun. I surely learned a lot of things. I even met people with bright minds.
The interview ended at 5:00 PM already. We've all waited outside for quite a long time. However, the result is worth waiting for because they had put me in the section where I thought will be the most impossible place for my feet to land on - the News section.
Dave, Mark and I decided to watch Da Vinci Code on the very same day. We had the chance watch the controversial movie on the opening day so I went home feeling very lucky that day. Thanks Kuya Mark for the movie treat!
Summer 2006
Summer class is over. I'm excited to enrol na for next sem coz I really miss my P1 and P2 peeps. I'm also yearning for Mrs. Reyes' words to live by.. hehe.
Summer of 2006 is one memorable event even if the 4a outing didn't materialize and I didn't manage to be like evita who is now a jetsetter thanks to People Support. There had been a lot of going-ons during this summer, happy moments and otherwise. I met interesting people and not so interesting people. I succeed in things I deemed not too important and became a failure in the things I love doing. I had my heart broken again by the same person. I was there slumped, until someone picked me up on the floor and dusted the dirt off. The person who did this was the same person who saved me from my first heartache. I learned a lot of surprising things about myself and about other people. I learned that I'm good enough to achieve a grade of 98 in NATSCI but not good enough to become a writer of Advocate, our schoolpaper. I learned that some people are good enough to become writers in advocate but not good enough to pass NATSCI. I'm a bit disappointed with myself for not passing the Advo exam. I think I expect too much.. can't help it, I'm too much of an optimistic. But really, I enjoyed taking the exam. Thanks for at least allowing me to take the exam! hehe..
I submitted my design proposals for the UNESCO ID and shirt. I put a lot of artistic effort to produce kickass designs so I'm hoping they'll at least consider my design an option. hehe. I hate rejections, really.
Ooops. I think an hour already passed. I need to get off my seat now, bye!
Summer of 2006 is one memorable event even if the 4a outing didn't materialize and I didn't manage to be like evita who is now a jetsetter thanks to People Support. There had been a lot of going-ons during this summer, happy moments and otherwise. I met interesting people and not so interesting people. I succeed in things I deemed not too important and became a failure in the things I love doing. I had my heart broken again by the same person. I was there slumped, until someone picked me up on the floor and dusted the dirt off. The person who did this was the same person who saved me from my first heartache. I learned a lot of surprising things about myself and about other people. I learned that I'm good enough to achieve a grade of 98 in NATSCI but not good enough to become a writer of Advocate, our schoolpaper. I learned that some people are good enough to become writers in advocate but not good enough to pass NATSCI. I'm a bit disappointed with myself for not passing the Advo exam. I think I expect too much.. can't help it, I'm too much of an optimistic. But really, I enjoyed taking the exam. Thanks for at least allowing me to take the exam! hehe..
I submitted my design proposals for the UNESCO ID and shirt. I put a lot of artistic effort to produce kickass designs so I'm hoping they'll at least consider my design an option. hehe. I hate rejections, really.
Ooops. I think an hour already passed. I need to get off my seat now, bye!
The Continuation...
Person number 9 is KIM morfe. I hated this guy before because he's so, uhmm, let's see, let's just say he didn't act the way I expect real men to behave. I mean, he was into "parinig" and those other girlish ways of picking a fight. I hated him because I thought he was trying to be like his "cool" friend. I disliked him because I know he's such a nice guy but he let some low-life guy influence his attitude. I'm sorry for saying this Kim but the sorry only goes to you. Wait, so much for the "things to hate about Kim" portion. Let's jump to the part that he'll like to read.. hehe. I believe that a man's personality has layers. Kim's the type you'd never appreciate unless you scrape longer and harder to see what's beyond the outer layer. When you get to know him, you'll realize that he's a real prized catch. He's sweet, sensitive, smart, spiritually healthy, sports-minded and a lot more s's. I love having long conversations with him because he's such a good listener with an open mind. Although we present opposing ideas in any given topic, we don't argue about the differences. He's a good friend to all and I guess could also be one of the most wonderful lovers if only he has enough courage and well, suave style to go with it. hehe. However, sometimes, his sensitivity goes beyond the boundaries of reason. When he's angry, he's just angry, no explanation would be considered valid. He doesn't get mad too easily anyway. there... TOP 9 is Kim Morfe. person number 8 in my next post.
I Can't Get This Out of My Mind!
I love this song. The album rocked my world so I suggest you get your own copy now. I love their site too, visit Wickermoss Official Site
Buwan
Wickermoss
Sa aking pag-gising, pangarap kang makita
Pagpintig ng puso mayroong kaba
Di ko mailihim, ningning sa aking mata
Balang araw, ako'y umaasa
Ika'y makapiling
Sabay ng dalangin at
Pagbilog ng buwan
Paglipas ng araw, pangarap ko'y ganap
Ako'y iyung nasa isip, ako'y hanap-hanap
Di raw panaginip, sa isang iglap
Magkasama tayo, sa alapaap
Hawak kamay at
Sabay na humahanga sa
Ganda't liwanag ng buwan
Chorus:
Masdan mo giliw, langit sa piling mo
Mundo'y gumaganda, bawat hinga'y laan sa yo
Sa bawat ihip, at bulong ng hangin ay
Mundo'y iikot lang, sa iyo
Adlib
Repeat chorus
Dahil sa pagsubok, lahat ba'y may hanggan
Pag di inukol, walang hahantungan
Hayaan na lang isipin, hayaang maghangad
Mugto ang matang hawak ko, tangi mong larawan
Habang ako ay
Mag-isang nakatanaw
Sa pag-luha ng buwan
Buwan
Wickermoss
Sa aking pag-gising, pangarap kang makita
Pagpintig ng puso mayroong kaba
Di ko mailihim, ningning sa aking mata
Balang araw, ako'y umaasa
Ika'y makapiling
Sabay ng dalangin at
Pagbilog ng buwan
Paglipas ng araw, pangarap ko'y ganap
Ako'y iyung nasa isip, ako'y hanap-hanap
Di raw panaginip, sa isang iglap
Magkasama tayo, sa alapaap
Hawak kamay at
Sabay na humahanga sa
Ganda't liwanag ng buwan
Chorus:
Masdan mo giliw, langit sa piling mo
Mundo'y gumaganda, bawat hinga'y laan sa yo
Sa bawat ihip, at bulong ng hangin ay
Mundo'y iikot lang, sa iyo
Adlib
Repeat chorus
Dahil sa pagsubok, lahat ba'y may hanggan
Pag di inukol, walang hahantungan
Hayaan na lang isipin, hayaang maghangad
Mugto ang matang hawak ko, tangi mong larawan
Habang ako ay
Mag-isang nakatanaw
Sa pag-luha ng buwan
endings, beginnings and continuations...
{ ALL DONE! ]
haaay salamat! sa wakas! tapos na rin ang aming Final Examinations! I'm soo thankful for all those people who inspired me to make good in the exams! I surely wouldn't be as determined kung wala kayo! nyehehe! should I name names? Uhmm.. wag na lang.
I read in a lot of self-help books that we should should always try to say how much we appreciate other people because it will make them feel good. I know they're right, but it's just so hard for me bare my emotions about other people. Why? I have this paranois that if try to tell people how special they are to me, it's like making myself vulnerable to pain. Are you getting confused with what I'm saying? Haayy.. I can't even understand it myself! I just have this crazy idea that if one shows to other people how much he/she loves them, these people will have all the reason in the world to act carelessly because they know that they would be understood by that person who loved them. Got it now? Oh, well... moving on...
I already know my final grades in my Public Speaking and International Org. class... I got flat 1 in both subjects. Wow.. I should be really thankful to those people who fueled my the energy to review and think hard during the exams. God heard my prayers.. the biggest "THANKS!" goes to Him.
[ new house ]
we just moved in to our new house in Cainta, Rizal. I feel a bit bored there because the place is soo quiet, unlike in the place where I grew up... hehe. It also feels ironic, because there were only 2 of us who stay there (on eof my brother wanted to stay in Makati while my other brother hardly stays for a long time), me and my mom, and the house is big while our house in Makati is small yet inhabited by so many. But y'know what? I know I will miss our house in Makati even if it's not big and beautiful. I learned to love that house amidst the nosy, gossipy neighbors and the dirty surrounding because it's the place where I grew up. Somehow, that place help shaped my personality and attitude. I'm not maarte because of that house. I acquired humility because of that humble house. That house is my HOME. But of course, our lives need improvement. We need to look forward to the greater things in life. Change is inevitable. At least, the change that happened was not about going to a small house coming from a big house, but vice versa. Next stop is New York, so I guess I'll be saying goodbye not just to a smaller house, I'll be saying goodbye to people... people I dearly love. I believe that thing would be a much harder change to accept.. but yeah, life must go on.
[ the continuation... of the TOP TEN LIST! ]
I really can't think of the most deserving person to put in the number 9 slot... so, yeah, I'll just think harder and then put person number 9 in the next entry.. hehe..
haaay salamat! sa wakas! tapos na rin ang aming Final Examinations! I'm soo thankful for all those people who inspired me to make good in the exams! I surely wouldn't be as determined kung wala kayo! nyehehe! should I name names? Uhmm.. wag na lang.
I read in a lot of self-help books that we should should always try to say how much we appreciate other people because it will make them feel good. I know they're right, but it's just so hard for me bare my emotions about other people. Why? I have this paranois that if try to tell people how special they are to me, it's like making myself vulnerable to pain. Are you getting confused with what I'm saying? Haayy.. I can't even understand it myself! I just have this crazy idea that if one shows to other people how much he/she loves them, these people will have all the reason in the world to act carelessly because they know that they would be understood by that person who loved them. Got it now? Oh, well... moving on...
I already know my final grades in my Public Speaking and International Org. class... I got flat 1 in both subjects. Wow.. I should be really thankful to those people who fueled my the energy to review and think hard during the exams. God heard my prayers.. the biggest "THANKS!" goes to Him.
[ new house ]
we just moved in to our new house in Cainta, Rizal. I feel a bit bored there because the place is soo quiet, unlike in the place where I grew up... hehe. It also feels ironic, because there were only 2 of us who stay there (on eof my brother wanted to stay in Makati while my other brother hardly stays for a long time), me and my mom, and the house is big while our house in Makati is small yet inhabited by so many. But y'know what? I know I will miss our house in Makati even if it's not big and beautiful. I learned to love that house amidst the nosy, gossipy neighbors and the dirty surrounding because it's the place where I grew up. Somehow, that place help shaped my personality and attitude. I'm not maarte because of that house. I acquired humility because of that humble house. That house is my HOME. But of course, our lives need improvement. We need to look forward to the greater things in life. Change is inevitable. At least, the change that happened was not about going to a small house coming from a big house, but vice versa. Next stop is New York, so I guess I'll be saying goodbye not just to a smaller house, I'll be saying goodbye to people... people I dearly love. I believe that thing would be a much harder change to accept.. but yeah, life must go on.
[ the continuation... of the TOP TEN LIST! ]
I really can't think of the most deserving person to put in the number 9 slot... so, yeah, I'll just think harder and then put person number 9 in the next entry.. hehe..
The Top 10 List
Andrew of P1 made his own TOP 15 list of the best people of his life. I'm happy and proud to occupy the 10th spot of his exclusive list. What he did is a good way of reminding himself who were those people who touched his life. Well, there had been an overwhelming urge of making the same list so allow me to present to you my very own TOP 10 picks of the best people I've ever met (as of MARCH 2006)...
but before that, I just would like to mention it here first that I read in Andrew's blog that he had been mad about my being partisan to the recent FEU student council election. Well, I understand him for feeling that way towards me because I wasn't supposed to take side in the election for I was a COMELEC member. I abused my power.. shame on me..! hehe. He was also angered by the fact that I chose to vote for the opponent of my classmate. By the way, that classmate of mine won in the aforementioned election and he actually thanked me because he thought I voted for him. Well anyway, back to Andrew's hostile reaction to my decision, he stated on the blog that even if he detested my "political" actions of supporting instead a MasCom student than voting for a PolSci peer, he said that all those belonged to the past now. He now considers me a good friend capable of giving him good advises about his dilemmas.
Andrew, I'm sorry if I've done all those things in the past. I just want you to know that whatever action I take, I see to it first that my act wouldn't violate the principles I believed in. For me, voting for a person just because he's my classmate is an act that would go against my principle so I didn't do it. I have justifiable reasons not to vote for him. You know who he is. Even you had had doubts about him. I don't offer my loyalty to individuals, I devote my loyalty only to my principles. I hopw you understand that.
Ok,let's go now to my TOP 10 MOST BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE INSIDE AND OUT:
I've decided to post only one person per blog entry because I will make a very long blog entry if I'll be completing the list in one seating. Furthermore, I'll have a lot of time to think about who among the people I know is deserving to be on my very own exclusive list:
10. Ms. Carolino -- She was my teacher in my Enligsh subject when I was in my 6th grade in elementary. I agree to what Mrs. Reyes was saying about elementary school teachers, they didn't give us the education we deserved mainly because they don't enough wisdom to share, only candies and other things to sell. However, I should say that Ms. Carolino is one of the few who is excempted to that rule. Ms. Carolino, as much as I can remember, was a teacher whose strictness may become unbearable. But even if she was that strict, I can't deny that she was one of the best English teachers I ever had. When we were asked to pass our notebooks, you'll be amazed to know that she actually go through every page of our notebooks to check, WORD BY WORD, grammar or spelling mistakes. I learned a lot from her and I will always be thankful to God for giving me the time to spend with such a wonderful person. Thanks, too, Ma'am!
{watch out for person number 9 on the next blog entry...]
but before that, I just would like to mention it here first that I read in Andrew's blog that he had been mad about my being partisan to the recent FEU student council election. Well, I understand him for feeling that way towards me because I wasn't supposed to take side in the election for I was a COMELEC member. I abused my power.. shame on me..! hehe. He was also angered by the fact that I chose to vote for the opponent of my classmate. By the way, that classmate of mine won in the aforementioned election and he actually thanked me because he thought I voted for him. Well anyway, back to Andrew's hostile reaction to my decision, he stated on the blog that even if he detested my "political" actions of supporting instead a MasCom student than voting for a PolSci peer, he said that all those belonged to the past now. He now considers me a good friend capable of giving him good advises about his dilemmas.
Andrew, I'm sorry if I've done all those things in the past. I just want you to know that whatever action I take, I see to it first that my act wouldn't violate the principles I believed in. For me, voting for a person just because he's my classmate is an act that would go against my principle so I didn't do it. I have justifiable reasons not to vote for him. You know who he is. Even you had had doubts about him. I don't offer my loyalty to individuals, I devote my loyalty only to my principles. I hopw you understand that.
Ok,let's go now to my TOP 10 MOST BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE INSIDE AND OUT:
I've decided to post only one person per blog entry because I will make a very long blog entry if I'll be completing the list in one seating. Furthermore, I'll have a lot of time to think about who among the people I know is deserving to be on my very own exclusive list:
10. Ms. Carolino -- She was my teacher in my Enligsh subject when I was in my 6th grade in elementary. I agree to what Mrs. Reyes was saying about elementary school teachers, they didn't give us the education we deserved mainly because they don't enough wisdom to share, only candies and other things to sell. However, I should say that Ms. Carolino is one of the few who is excempted to that rule. Ms. Carolino, as much as I can remember, was a teacher whose strictness may become unbearable. But even if she was that strict, I can't deny that she was one of the best English teachers I ever had. When we were asked to pass our notebooks, you'll be amazed to know that she actually go through every page of our notebooks to check, WORD BY WORD, grammar or spelling mistakes. I learned a lot from her and I will always be thankful to God for giving me the time to spend with such a wonderful person. Thanks, too, Ma'am!
{watch out for person number 9 on the next blog entry...]
Topic Is Cheating...
Last thursday, we had our exam on Internaional Law. The exam covered three long chapters and involved several cases. In short, the exam wasn't a piece of cake for all of us. Although the exam was hard, I was confident that the smarter people in our class will still have the chance of making it good. But while I answering my test paper, I heard my professor saying that some of my classmates were blatantly cheating in front of his eyes. I was pretty much sure that the people he was talking about were the known intellectual beggars in our class. I was surprised when I was told that the people who received a minus 10 were actually the smart ones.
I was disappointed because I so abhor cheating. I'm not saying that I did not perform any act of academic dishonesty in the past. Yes, I cheated before, because I was too young to realize that cheating is a serious problem among students. Many people believe that cheating during exams is not a big deal. But it is! Cheating is a form of lying. Cheating, for me, is an act of pretense. Cheating is like digging your own grave. Cheating is cowardice, the last resort of those who can't accept defeat. Maybe in war, we can apply cheating and label it "strategy" but I'm afraid the same could never be applied when it comes to academic matters. Studies is different. We study because we have to learn, not just things related to math, science, etc.. We also study to learn values needed for our personal growth. Educational institution's primary goal was not to produce gradutes who have HIGH grades. Their ultimate goal was to produce graduates who have good attitudes toward work. If I'm an employer, I would only be interested in your grades in the beginning. My impression will still depend on the quality of your work and the manner you interact and deal with people.
You don't have to cheat. You need to study! Hardwork and determination will get you where you want to go. Add good attitude to that and you're on your way to achieving the best life has to offer.
I was disappointed because I so abhor cheating. I'm not saying that I did not perform any act of academic dishonesty in the past. Yes, I cheated before, because I was too young to realize that cheating is a serious problem among students. Many people believe that cheating during exams is not a big deal. But it is! Cheating is a form of lying. Cheating, for me, is an act of pretense. Cheating is like digging your own grave. Cheating is cowardice, the last resort of those who can't accept defeat. Maybe in war, we can apply cheating and label it "strategy" but I'm afraid the same could never be applied when it comes to academic matters. Studies is different. We study because we have to learn, not just things related to math, science, etc.. We also study to learn values needed for our personal growth. Educational institution's primary goal was not to produce gradutes who have HIGH grades. Their ultimate goal was to produce graduates who have good attitudes toward work. If I'm an employer, I would only be interested in your grades in the beginning. My impression will still depend on the quality of your work and the manner you interact and deal with people.
You don't have to cheat. You need to study! Hardwork and determination will get you where you want to go. Add good attitude to that and you're on your way to achieving the best life has to offer.
Project Essay I would like to Share
This is a project that will only be granted with a grade of 60 because I'll be submitting it past the due date. I can't understand myself why I still spent a deal of time to finish this off when I know that it souldn't be graded anymore according to its content, but according to the date passed instead. Oh anyway, since I know this wouldn't be read anymore by my professor, I might as well just post this as a blog entry, ENJOY!
People who claimed to be supporters of real democracy are once again crying foul for yet another action made by the Arroyo administration that hindered them to practice their "rights", the Proclamation 1017.
Is the proclamation constitutional? Many of the vocal specialists in the field of law seem to have the same answer -- 'NO'. They said that there had been inconsistencies in the full text of the proclamation, its title tenuously connected with the body. I read in one article that the proclamation supposed to have violated one rule in statutory construction of laws. Therefore, I'm afraid I may not be qualified enough to declare the questioned act of Her Excellency as constitutional or otherwise.
But maybe, we should try going over to that part of our constitution where it was stated that the president, as the commander-in-chief of the AFP, may call out his/her armed forces to suppress lawless violence, invasion or rebellion. Using this as my basis, I can say that, somehow, that Proclamation 1017 can be considered justifiable. There is indeed a clear and present danger too apparent not to be acted upon. The opposition found another good time and place for the execution of their power-grabbing modus operand, which is the celebration of the People Power 1. These people were trying too hard to destabilize the government, employing even actions that involve the use of unnecessary force and violence. So I think it was her job to issue the Proclamation 1017 to ensure that the civilian's safety will be protected. The media argued that the government took away their freedom of expression, but I guess it's ok to take away some rights from some people if these rights were being abused anyway. What I'm trying to say is, we complain too much because we've been restricted from doing the things we consider to be within the scope of our rights, not realizing that we are also capable of abusing those rights.
Some people even said that the proclamation 1017 is already like Martial Law. If what they are saying is true, I can conclude now that the martial law proclaimed by Marcos wasn't that bad after all. I'm so disgusted by the manner some power-hungry individuals lure the simple-minded Filipinos into believing that in a democratic country, you can do anything you want just because you have the rights. It's saddening to know that we tend to forget about the responsibilities that go with the rights. I am also saddened by the fact that we have the wrong ideas about the true meaning of freedom and democracy. I detest the fact that human principles can be bought in a country hampered by poverty, and its okay for the people to be regarded as commodities by the reigning oligarchs.
If the sole question would only be whether the Proclamation 1017 is constitutional, I'll just say no with eyes closed and believe in my mind that with the kind of people we have here, it should be.
People who claimed to be supporters of real democracy are once again crying foul for yet another action made by the Arroyo administration that hindered them to practice their "rights", the Proclamation 1017.
Is the proclamation constitutional? Many of the vocal specialists in the field of law seem to have the same answer -- 'NO'. They said that there had been inconsistencies in the full text of the proclamation, its title tenuously connected with the body. I read in one article that the proclamation supposed to have violated one rule in statutory construction of laws. Therefore, I'm afraid I may not be qualified enough to declare the questioned act of Her Excellency as constitutional or otherwise.
But maybe, we should try going over to that part of our constitution where it was stated that the president, as the commander-in-chief of the AFP, may call out his/her armed forces to suppress lawless violence, invasion or rebellion. Using this as my basis, I can say that, somehow, that Proclamation 1017 can be considered justifiable. There is indeed a clear and present danger too apparent not to be acted upon. The opposition found another good time and place for the execution of their power-grabbing modus operand, which is the celebration of the People Power 1. These people were trying too hard to destabilize the government, employing even actions that involve the use of unnecessary force and violence. So I think it was her job to issue the Proclamation 1017 to ensure that the civilian's safety will be protected. The media argued that the government took away their freedom of expression, but I guess it's ok to take away some rights from some people if these rights were being abused anyway. What I'm trying to say is, we complain too much because we've been restricted from doing the things we consider to be within the scope of our rights, not realizing that we are also capable of abusing those rights.
Some people even said that the proclamation 1017 is already like Martial Law. If what they are saying is true, I can conclude now that the martial law proclaimed by Marcos wasn't that bad after all. I'm so disgusted by the manner some power-hungry individuals lure the simple-minded Filipinos into believing that in a democratic country, you can do anything you want just because you have the rights. It's saddening to know that we tend to forget about the responsibilities that go with the rights. I am also saddened by the fact that we have the wrong ideas about the true meaning of freedom and democracy. I detest the fact that human principles can be bought in a country hampered by poverty, and its okay for the people to be regarded as commodities by the reigning oligarchs.
If the sole question would only be whether the Proclamation 1017 is constitutional, I'll just say no with eyes closed and believe in my mind that with the kind of people we have here, it should be.
Crazy Talk With Mrs. Reyes
Our final exam in Public Speaking is quite unque.. and hard. We need to sell candies that would cost ten pesos each and we have to offer the unreasonably priced commodity to our chosen faculty members of the school. The purpose was to test our ability to persuade a person to buy our goods even if it has an unreasonable price. I chose Mrs. Reyes as my customer simply because I know she'll help me out with the whole process by adding some sense in the selling process. The fact that she's a very sincere person would actually be a plus for me because I don't want to sell my goods to someone who will be nice only in front of a camera. With Mrs. Reyes, I know there'll be no sugar-coating that'll happen or whatsoever... that, for me, lessen the stress and the feeling of intimidation on my part.
Unfortunately, we don't have the means to take hold of a reliable videocam so we ended up using Jim's mobile phone (thanks soooo much jim! we owe you this one!). We didn't have any problem with the picture quality of the videos, but I should say that I am now in deep shit because I can't figure out how I will be able to reduce the background noise in my interview with Mrs. Reyes. The audio qulaity is just so poor! 2 out of 10, 10 being the highest. I can barely hear my voice! My noisy classmates won't go out of the room where we've decided to shoot so they're the one to be blamed for the poor audio quality of my video. hehe. Anyway, here's th video I've been talking about:
Unfortunately, we don't have the means to take hold of a reliable videocam so we ended up using Jim's mobile phone (thanks soooo much jim! we owe you this one!). We didn't have any problem with the picture quality of the videos, but I should say that I am now in deep shit because I can't figure out how I will be able to reduce the background noise in my interview with Mrs. Reyes. The audio qulaity is just so poor! 2 out of 10, 10 being the highest. I can barely hear my voice! My noisy classmates won't go out of the room where we've decided to shoot so they're the one to be blamed for the poor audio quality of my video. hehe. Anyway, here's th video I've been talking about:
The 2006 Oscar Winners!
Complete list of winners at the 78th annual Academy Awards, presented Sunday night at the Kodak Theatre in Los Angeles:
Best Picture: "Crash."
Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Capote."
Actress: Reese Witherspoon, "Walk the Line."
Supporting Actor: George Clooney, "Syriana."
Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz, "The Constant Gardener."
Director: Ang Lee, "Brokeback Mountain."
Foreign Film: "Tsotsi," South Africa.
Adapted Screenplay: Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana, "Brokeback Mountain."
Original Screenplay: Paul Haggis and Bobby Moresco, "Crash."
Animated Feature Film: "Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit."
Art Direction: "Memoirs of a Geisha."
Cinematography: "Memoirs of a Geisha."
Sound Mixing: "King Kong."
Sound Editing: "King Kong."
Original Score: "Brokeback Mountain," Gustavo Santaolalla.
Original Song: "It's Hard out Here for a Pimp" from "Hustle & Flow," Jordan Houston, Cedric Coleman and Paul Beauregard.
Costume: "Memoirs of a Geisha."
Documentary Feature: "March of the Penguins."
Documentary (short subject): "A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age of Norman Corwin."
Film Editing: "Crash."
Makeup: "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe."
Animated Short Film: "The Moon and the Son: An Imagined Conversation."
Live Action Short Film: "Six Shooter."
Visual Effects: "King Kong."
Best Picture: "Crash."
Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Capote."
Actress: Reese Witherspoon, "Walk the Line."
Supporting Actor: George Clooney, "Syriana."
Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz, "The Constant Gardener."
Director: Ang Lee, "Brokeback Mountain."
Foreign Film: "Tsotsi," South Africa.
Adapted Screenplay: Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana, "Brokeback Mountain."
Original Screenplay: Paul Haggis and Bobby Moresco, "Crash."
Animated Feature Film: "Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit."
Art Direction: "Memoirs of a Geisha."
Cinematography: "Memoirs of a Geisha."
Sound Mixing: "King Kong."
Sound Editing: "King Kong."
Original Score: "Brokeback Mountain," Gustavo Santaolalla.
Original Song: "It's Hard out Here for a Pimp" from "Hustle & Flow," Jordan Houston, Cedric Coleman and Paul Beauregard.
Costume: "Memoirs of a Geisha."
Documentary Feature: "March of the Penguins."
Documentary (short subject): "A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age of Norman Corwin."
Film Editing: "Crash."
Makeup: "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe."
Animated Short Film: "The Moon and the Son: An Imagined Conversation."
Live Action Short Film: "Six Shooter."
Visual Effects: "King Kong."
My Life in Pictures
I still don't have that level of enthusiasm to write a detailed, text-based only blog entry so I will just be sharing another batch of images my digicam has been able to capture this week. I've added a wee bit of information of what the photo is all about. Please accuse me of being a frustrated photographer... thanks.
Whipped out the digicam (while I was talking to doms) and took these photos. these were taken last March 2. Isn't my school lovely?
This is one of the 2 certificates I received for joining the on-the-spot writing contest and the political science quiz bee. I won the third place in the essay writing contest while I lost my title as the 2005 quiz bee champion to the sophomores this year. Nezt year will be pay back time! haha!
This was also taken last March 2. Here, the students were choosing from the lists of candidates from the SAMASA and SANDIGAN parties laid down on the tables. This election would fill the available seats in both the FEUCSO and IAS student Council. I volunteered to become a comelec member, so, I was there, helping out in the election process. It was a good experience, although I was disappointed because most of the people I've voted for didn't win. Oh well...
Whipped out the digicam (while I was talking to doms) and took these photos. these were taken last March 2. Isn't my school lovely?
This is one of the 2 certificates I received for joining the on-the-spot writing contest and the political science quiz bee. I won the third place in the essay writing contest while I lost my title as the 2005 quiz bee champion to the sophomores this year. Nezt year will be pay back time! haha!
This was also taken last March 2. Here, the students were choosing from the lists of candidates from the SAMASA and SANDIGAN parties laid down on the tables. This election would fill the available seats in both the FEUCSO and IAS student Council. I volunteered to become a comelec member, so, I was there, helping out in the election process. It was a good experience, although I was disappointed because most of the people I've voted for didn't win. Oh well...
Images: My Excuse for Not Writing Blog Entries
There had been interesting happenings in my life these past few days. I've won the 3rd prize in the on-the-spot essay writing contest, I lost in the quiz bowl challenge, went to Mark's place, gave Sarah an artwork for her birthday and so on... I'm going to include details regarding these happenings, but not now. That essay writing contest drained my brain and now I can't squeeze out proper words so as to create a detailed and accurate account of this week's experiences.
Ok, I'll just show you the drawing I've made for Sarah and the logo I've just finished for the Rotaract Club of Sampaloc. Yeah, yeah, yeah.. they're not created using Adobe Photoshop so forgive me for the low image quality. These are manually drawn and scanned then printed. The photoshop wasn't installed and I believe our hard disk doesn't have enough space to accommodate the large file size of the Adobe program, so, yeah, no Photoshop exercises for me! No photoshop edited photos too! hehe! Well anyweiz, here are the images I was talking about, Enjoy!
Ok, I'll just show you the drawing I've made for Sarah and the logo I've just finished for the Rotaract Club of Sampaloc. Yeah, yeah, yeah.. they're not created using Adobe Photoshop so forgive me for the low image quality. These are manually drawn and scanned then printed. The photoshop wasn't installed and I believe our hard disk doesn't have enough space to accommodate the large file size of the Adobe program, so, yeah, no Photoshop exercises for me! No photoshop edited photos too! hehe! Well anyweiz, here are the images I was talking about, Enjoy!
from blogthings...
| You Should Get a JD (Juris Doctor) |
 You're logical, driven, and ruthless. You'd make a mighty fine lawyer. |
Love is A Force of Nature
Cast:
Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger, Michelle Williams. Anne Hathaway
MY REVIEW:
At first thought, who would ever enjoy a film about two gay cowboys claiming they had fallen in love with each other just because they've been together for about a month in a place called Brokeback Mountain? People I knew, some straight men, conservatives and the closed-minded, admitted that they didn't find the story appealing to their morally upright tastes.
Honestly speaking, upon hearing about the story line of the controversial movie, I also found it ridiculous. But when I finisehd watching the movie, I knew right then that this is one of those movies which weren't exactly made to please people. What's ridiculous for you may just be the noblest thing to do or have for others, even if it would tantamount to a life-long misery. Hey, honestly, I don't have a wide scope of vocabulary so I'll just give you this helpful review from Entertainment Weekly, ENJOY! :
Brokeback Mountain is that rare thing, a big Hollywood weeper with a beautiful ache at its center. It's a modern-age Western that turns into a quietly revolutionary love story. In 1963, Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal), a couple of dirt-poor ranch hands, take a job guarding a flock of sheep on Brokeback Mountain, a pristine jutting vista nestled in the lush Wyoming wilderness. Ennis, a crusty, taciturn loner with a scowl that might have been carved into his pale face, and Jack, an amateur rodeo rider who has held on to his optimistic boyishness, are youthful anachronisms, relics of the fading days of the Great Plains culture. But they're still cowboys to the core; they've fallen into this life because it feeds something in them.
To keep the coyotes away, Jack is assigned to sleep near the flock, but mostly the two men have hours, days, and weeks on their hands. They jump on horses to guide the sheep across meadows and rivers; they sit around a campfire, heating canned beans and swapping stories and a bottle of whiskey. Then, one night, when it's too cold for either one of them to sleep outside, they do something that the old movie cowboys never did: They wrap their bodies in a rough embrace and, without a hint of seduction, they have sex, an act that's as shocking to them as it is to us.
Because it feels right, they do it again as the days go by. Yet what is it, exactly, they're feeling, this urgent seizure of loneliness and affection and desire? Ennis and Jack, who've been raised in a world where to be ''queer'' is not to be a man (and is therefore unthinkable), can't grasp the feeling that's come over them because they literally don't have the words for it. In their very innocence, they are, in an odd way, a bit like the ancient Greeks, who saw homosexuality as an exalted expression of male friendship. Ennis and Jack call each other ''friend,'' and they mean it, but their bond evolves into a delicate, suspended romance, and Brokeback Mountain becomes their Eden, the craggy cowboy paradise from which they are destined to fall.
Adapted from Annie Proulx's brilliant 1997 short story, Brokeback Mountain was directed by Ang Lee (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) from a script by the venerable Western novelist and screenwriter Larry McMurtry (Lonesome Dove) and Diana Ossana, and together they have coaxed Proulx's anecdotal, through-the-years narrative into a wistful epic of longing and loss. Lee stages the picture with an enraptured tranquillity that lets each emotion shine through. At times, it's a bit too tranquil, especially in the episodic second half, but when Brokeback Mountain takes off, it soars.
Ennis and Jack drift into their separate lives, each caught in a fractured marriage with children, but they reunite over the years, going on fishing trips where no fishing gets done, sharing, however fleetingly, the connection they can barely speak of. They're products — victims — of a closeted culture, yet secrecy and repression work on them in a special way. They're men who have fallen in love without quite realizing that's what's happened to them, and the glory of Brokeback Mountain is that in tracing their fates, treating their passion as something unprecedented — a force so powerful it can scarcely be named — the movie makes love seem as ineffable as it really is.
Jack, a shade more comfortable with his nature, talks of getting a ranch together, but Ennis will have none of it: Stung by childhood memories of a rancher who lived with a man and got bashed for it, he fears — he knows — that exposure could kill them. In the classic Westerns, the cowboys were often men of few words, but Heath Ledger speaks in tones so low and gruff and raspy his words just about scrape ground, and he doesn't string a whole lot of those words together. Ennis' inexpressiveness is truly ...inexpressive, yet ironically eloquent for that very reason, as tiny glimmers of soul escape his rigid facade. Ennis says nothing he doesn't mean; he's incapable of guile, yet he erupts in tantrums — the anger of a man who can't be what he is and doesn't realize the quandary is eating him alive. Ledger, with beady eyes and pursed lips, gives a performance of extraordinary, gnarled tenderness. Gyllenhaal is touching in a different way, his puppy eyes widening with hope, then turning inward and forlorn.
As the movie goes on, Ennis, penniless and alone, becomes a shard of a man, nurturing a lost dream. Brokeback Mountain has a luscious doomed tenor that, at times, makes it feel like Edith Wharton with Stetsons. It's far from being a message movie, yet if you tear up in the magnificent final scene, with its haunting slow waltz of comfort and regret, it's worth noting what, exactly, you're reacting to: a love that has been made to knuckle under to society's design. In an age when the fight over gay marriage still rages, Brokeback Mountain, the tale of two men who are scarcely even allowed to imagine being together, asks, through the very purity with which it touches us: When it comes to love, what sort of world do we really want?
Expectations... BIG Expectations
Another Political Science Quiz Bowl... hmm, I wonder if God will perform the same miracle He did for me last year.. yes, I'm the other half of the Quiz Bowl champions last year, with Paul Avecilla as my partner. This time, I don't have Paul beside me, but I believe Herbert Ikan can do something so we wouldn't look like fools tis coming Wednesday, February 15.
Last year, when I joined in the Quiz Bowl, I was just there to have some fun and challenge myself with the questions they'll be asking. I wasn't expecting to win. I did not bother to review at all. I put no pressure on myself. Fortunately, we did it. We emerged as champions in that quiz bowl, me and paul.
But the upcoming quiz bowl stresses me out. I can sense something from other people again\ - expectations. What if I lost the title? I'll be such a big disappointment to them. They'll think I just got lucky the last time. They'll think it was really Paul who worked hard to make our tandem the champions. They'll think that way and I don't want to tire myself out by explaining. I feel like if I lose in this quiz bee, I also lose the crown and if I simply will not join, then I'll get to keep my glory. But I realized, that was a defeatist attitude, a very cowardly act. Maybe I'm just paranoid. People's big expectaions are bringing me the paranoia.
Just do what you have to do. Get there and kick people's asses. If you failed to keep the crown, malapit lang ang Recto, pagawa ka na lang ulet ng para sayo. hahaha! Yeah! I think I need to get back to my old self again... not thinking too much of what others have to say, no worries about expectations, having the ability to laugh at my foolishness. I just wish God will be there to take away the pressures and to support me.
Atchara was right, I don't need any other people to act as my star. I already have one.
Last year, when I joined in the Quiz Bowl, I was just there to have some fun and challenge myself with the questions they'll be asking. I wasn't expecting to win. I did not bother to review at all. I put no pressure on myself. Fortunately, we did it. We emerged as champions in that quiz bowl, me and paul.
But the upcoming quiz bowl stresses me out. I can sense something from other people again\ - expectations. What if I lost the title? I'll be such a big disappointment to them. They'll think I just got lucky the last time. They'll think it was really Paul who worked hard to make our tandem the champions. They'll think that way and I don't want to tire myself out by explaining. I feel like if I lose in this quiz bee, I also lose the crown and if I simply will not join, then I'll get to keep my glory. But I realized, that was a defeatist attitude, a very cowardly act. Maybe I'm just paranoid. People's big expectaions are bringing me the paranoia.
Just do what you have to do. Get there and kick people's asses. If you failed to keep the crown, malapit lang ang Recto, pagawa ka na lang ulet ng para sayo. hahaha! Yeah! I think I need to get back to my old self again... not thinking too much of what others have to say, no worries about expectations, having the ability to laugh at my foolishness. I just wish God will be there to take away the pressures and to support me.
Atchara was right, I don't need any other people to act as my star. I already have one.
2006 GRAMMY WINNERS
U2, Carey, Legend, Former Idol Clarkson Big Winners at Grammy Awards
>> CLICK HERE FOR THE COMPLETE LIST <<
